Will we EVER get to church on time?

We take our kids to church Sundays and need to be there at 10:30.  I start the routine of getting them ready at 8:00.  It takes me two hours to do this.  We eat breakfast, get dressed and shower.  This was the scene this morning:

Me: “Wheres Lincoln?” “Where’s Nolan?”

“Lincoln why are you eating fuzzy things off of the floor?!  I JUST fed you breakfast!”

I give Sam a shirt and pants to wear to church.  She comes out of her room with a dress.  “Can I wear this?”

ME: “I gave you an outfit!”

Lincoln: “MOMMY!”

Sam and Ems argue in the background…

Me: “Ems are you dressed?  Your clothes are on backwards!  You can’t wear that!  It’s got a stain. Get dressed!  We are going to be late!”

Somewhere in that time frame, I am feeding the boys grits.  Now it’s 9:14 and we need to leave at 10:00.  I have yet to get dressed or shower.  Some kids are dressed, some are not.

My husband thinks he’s one of the kids and is having a WWE match on the floor with them.

Me: “Nolan get off of the table!”

It’s chaos.  Kids are everywhere, out of control.  And then my husband says it.

I am going to just let them do what they want.


He sits down, I guess he feels defeated.  Me too.  At this point in the morning, I question whether we will EVER get to church.  In the movie “Mom’s Night Out” there is a scene where the mom is frantically trying to get to church too.  This is a scene from my life.  I could have written the movie.

I’m not sure how we did it but we actually got into the car at 10:00 and made it to church on time.  And apparently, we didn’t have enough fun with our own kids this morning that we felt the need to volunteer in the nursery with 8 kids.

Now we are home and I am telling Ems to stop dipping her sandwich in Diet Coke.  I mean what would possess a child to dip their sandwich in soda?  I know all about picky eaters, but where is the chapter in your parenting manual for weird eaters?  Has anyone found a copy of a parenting manual?  I am still looking.  I NEED IT.


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