What battle are you fighting?

Guys, if this is you, I feel you.  I am physically running on empty.  Nine days of work until summer break.  I can do it, I can do it…

Not to mention that my car also needs gas… Ironic?

Tonight I was in the middle of getting some toys together to give away, so I was in the playroom.  The babies were in the boy’s room.  Silence filled the air.  Silence and toddlers don’t mix.

I went into the room to check on them.  It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Me: “RAY!  RAY! GET IN HERE!”

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Ray: “What is that?”

Me: “Desitin.”

Ray is looking at me, trying not to laugh.  He keeps repeating, “This is not funny.  I won’t laugh.”  Meanwhile, I am laughing hysterically.

Ems and Nolie took the Desitin and rubbed it all over their furniture and themselves.  Let’s look at the positives here: at least it was Desitin and nothing truly disgusting.  It was an easy cleanup.  But honestly, it was hilarious.  I think it was so funny because it was so normal for us.

Lincoln, on the other hand, is not wearing Desitin.  He is covered in sour cream.  How do you get Lincoln to eat his dinner?  Drench it in sour cream.  My kids are fanatical about sour cream.

Who’s on cleanup?

Yesterday, I was packing the car to leaving my mom’s and come back home.  I was making multiple trips to and from the car to pack it up, get my kids together and get to church by 10:30.  I caught myself thinking about Danielle Busby from the show Outdaughtered.  If you haven’t seen the show, she has quintuplets and one older daughter.  It’s a good show.

But I was thinking, “She has six kids.  She always looks so put together, her house is pretty intact, she looks like she has her life together.  She has six kids, I only have 5.  My house is a disaster, I’m going to be late for church, I don’t have my kids together, I’m missing a shoe… I can’t do this.”  The negative thoughts went on.  I was hot, I was frustrated and I was exhausted.  The night before, Ems and Nolan were keeping me up.  My husband wasn’t here to help, and I had to make a two and a half hour drive home after church.

I went to church, although I was late, and listened to the sermon.  The preacher was talking about Saul’s jealousy over David.

Wait… this is what I felt this morning.  Isn’t it funny that God sends you the exact message you need to hear at just the right time?  The truth is I do feel jealousy over people who look like they have it all together.  I never feel like I do. I am always missing something, something is always dirty, someone is ALWAYS hungry… However, the preacher also pointed out that jealousy rots your bones.  If you are jealous of a person, you don’t love them.  You should love them and want their successes for them.  Woah.  How powerful.

This week, my goal is to let my jealousy go.  We are all fighting our own battles.  There is nothing to be jealous of.

 

 

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What’s the day between Saturday and Sunday called?

Guys, miracles do happen.  I did it.  I wore these kids out!  And I have photographic evidence.  These kids were OUT.  And they stayed out for about two hours on our drive home from the beach today.  The silence was great.  Sam and I could eat our cheeseburgers in peace and we could chit chat without babies fighting all the way home.  It was magical.

How can this be accomplished?  A weekend running at the beach and keeping them BUSY.  In the years I have had kids, I have learned that busy kids-=happy kids.  However, in my own mission to constantly entertain these kids, I need a weekend for my weekend.  Wearing kids out takes a lot of energy and planning on my part.  How is it Sunday night already?!  Wasn’t it just Friday?  Can there be a day between Saturday and Sunday?

Another thing that happened over the weekend…

Which one of the three littles did that?  Think you know?  If you guessed Lincoln, you’d be right.  I guess he thought that this was an apple.  He quickly found out it was a tomato.

When you can’t find your kids, where are they usually?  Silence is a scary thing when it comes to kids.  I recommend always looking under tables.  Here you can find them snacking.  Why do kids hide when they snack?  It’s not like parents don’t know snacks go missing… or where to find the snack thieves.

My husband brought me home some candy from the store today.  Sam got ahold of it and was helping herself.

Husband: “Sam it’s right before bed.  No more candy.”

Sam: *taking on piece out of the bag for later while stuffing her face full of candy, then handing him the bag*…

And lastly, I was in Dollar General Friday buying my kids sandals for the beach.  I had three pairs in my hand (one for Sam, Ems and Lincs).

The man in front of me glanced at the shoes and said, “Couldn’t decide which shoes you wanted?”

Me: “These are for my kids.  We are going to the beach and need sandals.”

Man: (Looking shocked) “How many kids do you have?” (If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me this, I’d be a RICH girl.)

Me: “We have five, but three of them need sandals.”

Man: “I’ll pray for you.  I only have two. That’s enough for me.”

Me: “Thanks.  Please do pray for me.  I need all the prayers I can get.”

Man: “You look so young to have 5 kids.  You don’t even have any grey hair!”

Me: (Laughing) “I need to dye it.  I have tons of it.”

That’s the truth.  If I didn’t dye it, I’d have TONS of grey.  Surprisingly a lot of them came after I had Lincoln.  Ironic?  I think not.

 

Is it possible to survive a beach trip with 6 kids?

I am sitting down after a long day to write my daily blog.

“MOM!  Emmy peed on the floor!”  It literally never ends.  I can’t sit down for three seconds most days.

I had no intentions of doing anything today.  At all.  Until my brother’s girlfriend messaged me and asked if I was going to the beach.

I wasn’t planning on it, I know taking my kids anywhere is insane.  She said she would help me with them.  She must be a saint, wanting to help me.  She doesn’t know how crazy it can get. I have only met her a couple of times, but her wanting to help me with the circus makes me like her already.

So how do you survive a trip to the beach with kids?!

Is it even possible to survive a trip to the beach with kids?

Yes…. but you need to bring reinforcements. We had four adults for six kids (my four year old nephew came too). Is that enough adults per kids? No. Not nearly enough.

This was Lincoln the WHOLE time…

On the run. It was never ending. He wasn’t afraid of the waves. He was fearless.

ALWAYS BRING SNACKS.

Let me explain why a ratio of one adult to one child is needed on a trip to the beach.

Lincoln spent the whole time running in and out of the waves.

Nolan tried to touch the dead jellyfish on the beach.

Lincoln needed to be changed.  I needed to go find a bathroom to change him.  I was carrying him to the bathroom, I changed him and went back to the beach.

Ems wandered halfway down the beach, searching for seashells.

We did kid counts every couple of minutes.

Kids were all over the place, running in all directions.  At the end of the day, my brother’s girlfriend asked, “Is this what it’s like everyday?”

Yes…all day, everyday.  Life with these kids shocks people.  I get asked that all the time.

But today when I had a second to just scroll through social media, I saw a saying that spoke to me.

“You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.”  Whoever coined that saying, thank you.  I am reminded that I don’t have to be perfect, I just need to be a present mom to be great and love those kids.

Just don’t look at the inside of my hot mess car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you get a free haircut?

My husband and I were giving the three littles a bath tonight. We have all of the kids out of the bathtub and I am drying one of the boys off and putting a diaper on them. Behind me, I feel Ems pulling on my ponytail. She’s pulling pretty hard. I turn around to see what she is pulling my hair for.

She has scissors and is trying to cut my hair.

My hair is a decent length, but if she had succeeded, a lot of my hair would have been gone. I don’t even want to think about where she could have gotten the scissors OR the idea to cut my hair. It’s a good thing I caught her.

Me: “Don’t ever cut mommy’s hair!”

Ems: “Yes sir ma’am!”

The kids found a new hangout spot. They busted open the TV stand (which is old anyway) and go behind it. Ems went first, and Lincoln has to follow her of course. Ems is even opening up the backing to let her brother in! Again, this is why we can’t have nice things. We can’t buy a new TV stand because of toddlers.

Caught them in the act…

When I get home from work, the kids love to climb all over me. I’m pretty exhausted when I get home so I don’t even care that I am a human jungle gym. At least they aren’t attacking each other.

Ems: Victory is mine!

And of course, they all have to follow what Emmy does and climb on me… Still trying to figure out why the boys follow Emmys lead…

She may make a good president one day.

How does one survive the warzone?

Have you ever had a plastic barbie doll body thrown at you that was headless, legless and armless?

Me either… until I entered the warzone (aka the boy’s bedroom). I went into the boys room and saw Ems on a dresser, about to jump off. At just the right moment, a barbie doll whizzes by my head.

It’s really dangerous going into that room. I never know what I am walking into, what I might find, or what might be whizzing through the air.

How do you keep safe? Don’t enter the room. Just stand outside of the room and dictate directions in there. Hope the boys will listen. Repeat as needed.

Sam was working on the computer today.

My husband: “Sam its dinnertime. Put the computer away where the boys can’t get it.”

So that got me thinking. Where is that exactly? Is there even such a place where the boys won’t get into things? Alaska perhaps? Is that far enough away? Maybe a remote island in the middle of nowhere?

Ems, Lincs, and Nolan have one main mission daily: Search and Destroy everything in site. They really are great at accomplishing their mission.

My husband went to the men’s meeting at church tonight, leaving me alone with the kids (yay). We all survived.

So after the chaos of the day, whats a mom to do? Relax of course! I bought this book like two months ago and really wanted to read it since it was on Oprah’s book list. Usually she has great books on her list. Before kids, I read ALL THE TIME. I miss having the time for it. I took it for granted so badly. So here I am. Relaxing.

Just kidding. There is no relaxing and I don’t have time to read. I have no idea what it means to relax. Sounds nice though. Two months later and I’ve only read one chapter. Maybe I’ll finish it when the kids are grown. Hey, I think I found my new hashtag.

#iwillrelaxwhenthekidsaregrown #endthechaos #17moreyears

What will we find in the toilet?

“It’s bad, but it’s not that bad.”  My husband yells as he is plunging the toilet.

Not that bad?  What is that supposed to mean?  Does it mean the toilet water hasn’t hit the floor yet?  Or does it mean a child hasn’t thrown a toy into it to make it overflow?

But… he said it was bad.  Does that mean a child is in the toilet?  Does it mean we need to fish a toy out of the toilet?  Is there dirty water all over my floor?

THIS COULD MEAN SO MANY THINGS.  How can something be bad…but not that bad?  I’m so confused…and scared at the same time.

I’m terrified to go in my bathroom.  I mean literally terrified at what I might find.  For me, there is nothing worse than cleaning up the bathroom.  I wouldn’t consider myself a huge germaphobe, but the bathroom freaks me out.

So, after my husband says that to me,  I am frantically screaming, “What!  What happened?”  I’m thinking Lincoln has made his way into the toilet somehow.

I see him plunging the toilet.  It’s hilarious to me when I realize it’s bad, but it’s not that bad.  Only a little water got onto the floor.

Disclaimer:  I knew the toilet was clogged.  We went on a walk and I noticed it before we went.  I was just hoping that my husband would see it and fix it.  I really didn’t feel like dealing with it.  And I was right.  He did see it and fix it.  But when he said it was bad, that worried me.

Whoever said that a wife won’t start an argument with their husband while they are doing housework was SPOT ON.  There is NO WAY I would ever fight with my husband while he is plunging the toilet.  In fact, in a way, it makes me happy he is doing the dirty work I don’t want to do.

Before this fiasco, I made dinner. It’s sitting on the table.  It’s Asian, and usually, my kids love Asian food.  Ems has dinner right in front of her.  So what does she do?  She takes a pack of crackers and tries to open it.

Ems: “I’m hungry.   Me want crackers.”

Me: “BUT YOU HAVE DINNER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.”

Lincoln: Tries to get poundcake, but won’t touch his dinner.

Nolan: I fed him a plate.  I assumed he was done when he spit his food out.  When he got out of his highchair, he climbed on top of the table and stuck his hand into the pot of dinner and started stuffing his face.

 

When does Lincoln find time to destroy?

How do you raise boys in the country?  (See picture below)

Would you believe that Lincoln was fully dressed today and looking decent? (AND we made it to church early) What happened between church and when he was outside playing?  How did he lose all of his clothes?  I remember…. he went outside, found a dirt pile that HAD WATER and Linca smashed it.  Water was all over his clothes, dirt was on his face and in his hair.  Of course, Nolan had to follow his big brother.  Nolan, however, thought it would be a good idea to actually EAT the dirt.  Whoever said that a “boy was a noise with dirt on it”, did you coin that saying after you met Lincoln?  That saying IS LINCOLN.  Sometimes it’s truly easier to just not dress these boys.

My husband said we needed pens so he could do his homework today.

Me: “We have pens.  We have like 300 pens in a big bag.”

Husband: “The blue bag?  The one under Lincoln’s bed?”

Me: “Yes.”

Husband: “I threw them out.”

Me: “WHY?  They were fine!  Why did you throw them out?”

Husband: “Lincoln broke them all in half.  Every single one.”

Both of us: “Is there anything Lincoln won’t destroy?”

When does Lincoln find time to do all of this destruction?  Is it after hours when we are all in bed?  I just don’t get when he does it.  It’s a serious mystery.

Meanwhile, I bought a tub of cool whip and Reeses because it’s Mother’s Day so why not?

Sam: “I am helping you eat it so you won’t get fat.”

(There is a tub of cool whip she is hiding behind her back.)  She looks super guilty doesn’t she?  She is so considerate eating my junk food though so I “won’t get fat”.  Just another day.