Life’s been really busy lately. This summer has flown by and while I made a mental goal of blogging daily, reality had different plans.
Ems had cheer camp one week, I was helping with Vacation Bible School another, doctors appointments, registering my two girls for school (OMG!!), Ems has surgery next Friday… you guys get the point. Just when I feel like I can relax, something interrupts it. That’s ok though. I think my kids have had a good summer so far and that’s what is really important.
So I think it was my last post I was debating on trying out a second medication with my kid. After thinking and talking about it, we decided not to go with it. I don’t want to over medicate my kid, and if we don’t need it 100%, I would rather not give it to her. However, since they have gotten bigger, the Intuniv dose needed to be upped to 3mg. They have been off it since the first couple weeks of summer, and they needed to go back on it to adjust before school.
Some people take their kids off medicine on the weekend, and the summer because they arn’t in the classroom so they don’t need it. Some people choose to keep their kids on it all of the time. I was one of those people who kept them on it all of the time, until the summer when we decided to take them off it for a short while. We were told by their counselor it was ok to take them off of it.
When I took my child off of it, I saw a side of my child I hadn’t seen since they began the medicine. It was like a totally different kid. They were energetic, funny and had personality. There were times when being with them was a lot of fun. However, the medicine is needed for a lot of reasons. With the medicine, my kid’s tics and focus are under control. They arn’t biting a whole through their cheek and flicking the middle finger up. Believe me, I thought a lot about not giving it back to them, but I believe it really is the best. Until today. They had their first dose last night and the medicine made them so tired they have been basically sleeping all day. I took them to Walmart, and they didn’t even remember what we bought there they were so tired. They are sleeping right now. They couldn’t even enjoy the last night of VBS with bouncy houses because of the fatigue.
OMG the guilt. I felt terrible. I was the one who gave them the medicine, the one who decided to tell the doctor a higher dose was needed. THE MOM GUILT. Sometimes it just consumes my mind. I felt even worse when they cuddled up to me and said, “I want my mommy.” And my heart sank. I hate seeing them like this on the medicine. Tired and fatigued. Not wanting to eat. Not wanting to play. I know the benefits of medication outweigh the negatives, but still… there is always going to be a part of me that wishes this all away.
Luckily, this only will last a couple of days and their body will have adjusted to the medicine. And hopefully the medicine will help them excel in school and outside of it. Maybe this time with the higher does, there will be less meltdowns. I can only pray. I mean really, I know I need to pray harder because I believe in the power of God’s healing and he can take ADHD away. I believe that 100%.
I know my intention when I started this blog was to be funny and tell all of these funny stories about my kids. I don’t know… somewhere in the time I started this blog, it’s become my venting place about ADHD and the challenges I face raising a child with it. Maybe soon I will get back to that, because my kids have also painted my sofa teal and purple this week, sharpied my kitchen chair and so on. I mean it’s been crazy.
Where’s Lincoln been this week? I bought him FOUR Paw Patrol toys so he would not want to watch so much TV and actually play. Bribery works wonders, guys. Yes, I am that desperate… but I don’t buy my kids toys ever. It was going great until he thought they were all his and tried to fight Nolan over them. There was about to be bloodshed OVER A TOY.
Someone also gave Nolan Mountain Dew tonight. Then Nolan set out to drink any random Mountain Dews he could find. It’s bad to admit this, but he loves coffee. When I’m not looking, he drinks mine. Of course, I don’t let my kids have hardly any caffeine for obvious reasons. Caffeine in kids=always a bad idea. Unless they arn’t yours and you can give them back to their parents.
I know I will miss the craziness one day. I know I will. Right now it seems like a lot. My house is a disaster and I have no idea what day it is. At least I showered today though. I’ve got that going for me. I have been breaking my cardinal rule: no yoga pants in public. Actually, lets be real. I’ve been breaking that rule for the last four years. It’s just that point in the summer where to me yoga pants are OK. Wear them. Be comfy. You only live once. Do you. That means comfy stretch pants for me… until I go back to work. Then it’s dressing nice again. (No I don’t yoga. The most I do is chase my toddlers around, and believe me that’s all the physical activity I need).
Though all of the craziness, when I pray, I tell God how tired I am. Somehow he always gives me the strength to push through my days and to take care of my kids. If you feel like me, or have kids in general, I want to encourage you to pray.
Worry about nothing, pray about everything.